Thursday, July 27, 2006
hhaha i know that i have defeated the initial purpose of setting up this blog.
it was supposed to be a happy blog.
but many a times the things we initially planned to do are changed along the way.
not that we r not determined enough
or that we are a different person.
But more of knowing the reality, the impossibilities.
may be these r just plain excuses we usually give ourselves so as to feel better as we give up.
diminishing whatever negative emotions such as guilt of disappointments we may feel along the way.
i want to be happy...i really do.
but it seems like it doesnt belong to me.
i mean happiness does embrace me every now and then.
but they don't last.
whenever night falls, the dr jekly n mr hyde syndrome seems to bestow on me.
life's good though.
i cant wish for more.
i am contented, really glad that i have friends that care that are around me.
darl, scandal, dear, cupcake, reflection.....and so the list goes on.
i have been procrastinating..
not doing my tutorials..
not paying attention in lectures..
not revising..
where is my drive?
where is my motivation?
i have no sense of urgency....
the constant temptations keep surfacing..
CLUB, DRINK, DANCE, FLIRT...
usaiduwouldnotletgo,usaiduneededme,usaidulovemelots..andutoldothersthatyoudidnotwanttoleadmeon? whatirony!someone please wake me up from this deep sleep.
before the nightmare fully engulfs me.
the dark phoenix in me is taking over..
