Thursday, May 13, 2010
I decided to resume to jotting my thoughts down yet again.
I've lost count of the number of times I went on hiatus and the eventual resumption of blogging.
Most hiatus or prolonged period of absence from posting anything were due to a lack of time, or a lack of urge to, despite the overwhelming amount of things taking place in my life.
There came a point in time that I felt that it was pointless talking about my problems.
And its not just about blogging, but about talking to anyone about it.
I feel that it won't make a difference and I feel pretty screwed up to even talk about it.
Who would want to know about my problems right?
And who would bother?
and it won't change anything will it just by talking abt it?
I am pretty jaded about human-to-human relationships.
Its pretty ironic actually since that I am currently a communication student in the university.
It suppose to help me improve on my communication skills.
but on the contrary, it got worse.
I lost faith in trust.
Human relation is so volatile. ever-changing. nothing is fixed.
and what makes it worse is, I feel noone truly understands me. And that all they know is to badmouth abt the things i have done wrong. but never once asking why I made these mistakes. Not asking Why I faltered.
Not thinking about what drove me to make those mistakes.
Not helping me to correct the things that went wrong, but all they do is to gossip abt the mistake, talk abt the disappointment they feel towards me. But never once thought about how they have disappointed me by not being upfront abt it or even to talk abt the issue.
And for allowing these ill-emotions to fester, and get aggravated.
They failed me.
They are disappointed in me.
and so am I in them.
