The important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself. ~Gore
Vidal
I am feeling really confused and extremely lost.
Its hard to put these complex emotions into words, but i shall try to give it a shot.
I feel as if i am trapped in this gigantic maze that is never ending.
No way to get out of it however hard i try.
There are times when i think i have found "enlightenment" seeing where the source of light is coming from in this dark maze of emotions.
It supposes to be easy finding my way out by following the light.
I am afraid I am lost.
However afraid and lost i am, i tried to hide it for god knows whatever reasons, i have no idea.
I dont think anyone can understand whatever i am feeling, whatever fear that is engulfing me bit by bit.
If only crying could drive this overbearing monster away, I would not mind trying.
I dont cry and crying dont make things any easier, so why waste the tears.
I tried to be brave, not once giving up on the idea of finding the exit. But it seemed like whatever light i saw was just a mirage, something made belief, not truly once there.
I am stuck.
I really dont know what I want
or what I should expect
or what I can have
or what I should do.
I hate it when I cant do anything.
I dont know how to banish away that horrible feeling.
ARGHh!
I feel ugly. so so so ugly.
I know I told many I have moved on, but i cant help it to still have flashbacks from time to time.
theres these dying questions still lurking deep inside at the back of my mind which are continuously surfacing.
those words u said, which are the truths which are the lies?
how much did you mean when you said those words?
why me? what had i done wrong that you wanted to torture me this bad?
TRULY WHAT HAVE I DONE?
i am going crazy...
who can understand what i am going through?
who?
WHO?
